I struggled with the title of this article. I considered the polarity of the words I intended to use and thought that maybe just this once, the situation called for a disclaimer. But the more I allowed the piece to manifest, the more I felt the title needed to be as raw as the reality. Not for the sake of luring readers with consciousness camouflaged as controversy, but because I’m no longer in the business of coddling people from their truth, especially Black men.
The truth is that Black women have lived in a perpetual state of fear and fantasy with Black men for a very long time. Black women have long carried an unyielding, sometimes unexplainable, loyalty to Black men even when that loyalty has cost us our lives. And although Black women have all but verbally committed to being a refuge for Black men’s ruins, for the sake of our survival we can no longer afford to do so.
Women like Sadie Roberts-Joseph, activist, educator and community organizer who dedicated her life to serving the African-American community through the veins of her second home, Baton Rouge, LA, come to mind.