Child rearing: The lost art of disciplining your kids, what happened? Part 2

Praise the Lord.

Last week I talked about the most common, old skool approach that was used to raise kids, namely the baby boomers and post-baby boomers, I would venture to say the 45-65 age group, give or take a few years.

This week I will discuss the progressive methodology.

Progressive child rearing is the current day approach to raising kids, and well, while it seems to be effective, just a quick look at our youth, our neighborhoods and their current conditions, one would beg to differ somewhat.

I’m not blaming all of the societal issues on this group and type of child rearing, but there was a compromise that spawned most of the issues today.

What I mean by compromise is this: First, this approach doesn’t fully buy into raising your kids in the church.  Some do but it’s not a deal breaker just as long as the parents are good people they will be good parents.

Second, the technique of “time out” as a form of punishment is being used collectively.  Third, they used the parenting approach of explaining to your child why or why not they should or should not do certain things.  Fourth, and to me the invisible snare, these parents skip talking “baby talk” to their infants and just speak plain language.

I’m not sure of the origin of this methodology but reality TV show hosts like Dr. Phil, I believe, might have something to do with it.  Not to mention the major issues in the church this spawned a domino effect of the saints leaving the church.

What comes to mind is a recent conversation I had with a Generation X married couple.  We were discussing parenting techniques and an issue that came up with one of their kids.  One of the parents told one of their kids to go and do something and the child calmly explained why they didn’t want to do it and proceeded to continue playing.  That parent became irate and then proceeded to challenge the child because it appeared that the child was being openly disrespectful and disobedient.

Unbeknownst to the child that they did something wrong because to them it just wasn’t something they felt like doing at the time and they just made an “executive” decision to not stop with what they were currently doing to do what they were just told to do.

On the surface seems like clear-cut case of disobedience on the child’s part, but that’s on the surface.  In all actuality, this is not the case.  It’s more the case of this is only what they know and have been exposed to all their young life.

Let me explain.

It’s a “gimme that or there are gonna be some issues” the moment you decide not to have Jesus and the Bible as the foundation when raising your kids. People can attempt to debate this but they will hands down lose this debate.

Next, based on the effectiveness of the “timeout” technique, the child could very well have decided that it wasn’t such a big deal and timeout wouldn’t be so bad.

Third, the “Why” technique.  I believe this starts with the “terrible twos” as they call it when toddlers are so inquisitive and want to know why everything is as it is.  If parents aren’t careful, they will fall victim of having to explain everything that the two-year-old doesn’t understand.

Fourth, this one to me is the biggie.  When parents decide that they are not going to talk baby talk to their infants, they are not realizing that they are falling into what I believe is a Venus flytrap and not realizing it until it’s too late.

They are not realizing that while your child may or may not be talking at a very early age, they have skipped from infant to adolescent and you have raised a small adult and not a kid.

They are equipped with the advanced ability to make logical decisions based on the set of circumstances facing them and this is not the norm and will cause major issues as that child continues to grow and mature.

Their peers will look at them differently, teachers will relate to this and assume it’s just that they are more advanced than the others kids and again this can lead to alienating them from the other kids because they have grown up mentally too quickly.

For the record, again, I’m no educated expert to the point I took classes, wrote a thesis and have a master’s or doctorate in child whatever.  Remember, the Lord gave this to me.

However, my wife and I happen to have raised our six kids for the better part of their lives and up until they left the house and are on their own today, they never received so much as a speeding ticket, all graduated, two with high honors, all saved, sanctified and are doing well today.

I know I didn’t have to qualify what I’m writing but I just don’t want to be another so-called expert without evidence or something to back it up.

Next week I will discuss the one methodology, comprehensive, that I believe is the most effective and successful of the three.

Till next week,

God Bless.

Rev. Dr. Robert L. Harrison, PhD

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