ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?!?
After countless visits to the Woj bomb shelter and copious mashing of the F5 button, this year’s NBA trade deadline is now in the rearview mirror — but not before New Orleans became a Boogie Wonderland, Jeanie Buss executed Order 66, and Danny Ainge slept through all of his alarms yet again. As the salary cap dust finally begins to settle, let’s go for a deep dive into the 10 biggest takeaways from Trade SZN 2K17.
In their shocking acquisition of three-time All-Star center DeMarcus Cousins from the SacrHAHAHAHAmento Kings, the New Orleans Pelicans managed to melt our faces off and give the ultimate dismissal of small-ball all at once.
Cousins will join forces with Anthony Davis to form what is easily the NBA’s most fearsome frontcourt duo since Tim Duncan and David Robinson, and he very well could lift the team to a Godzilla vs. King Kong-esque clash of styles against the Golden State Warriors in the first round of the playoffs.
But while the Cousins bombshell dominated all of the headlines, the Houston Rockets upgraded their own weapon system by trading for former Sixth Man of the Year Lou Williams, a top-tier bench scorer and yet another threes-and-free-throws enthusiast, to toss into Daryl Morey’s cauldron. And with the omnipresent San Antonio Spurs again cruising to a 60-plus win season, the Memphis Grizzlies modernizing nicely, and the Dallas Mavericks somehow still kicking, we may officially have a new Division of Death in the Association.
2. The East is now as wide open as it’s been in years
A faint glimmer of hope shines intermittently in the distance to signal the possible end of LeBron James’ reign of terror over the Eastern Kingdom. That glimmer may actually be the Ibaka Flocka Flame that the Toronto Raptors lit this trade deadline, an acquisition that should improve their spacing and help remedy their chronic problem of bleeding easy buckets at the rim in crunchtime. Their late addition of P.J. Tucker as a LeBron-stopper of sorts has the potential to be huge as well, especially he was had for the price of a negative asset in Jared Sullinger and a pair of inconsequential second-rounders.
But don’t sleep on the Washington Wizards either now that they no longer have a cardboard cutout of a second unit thanks to the acquisition of Bojan Bogndanovic from Brooklyn.
Bogdanovic’s friskiness off the bounce and his 36.6 percent career mark from deep give the Wiz a legitimate sixth man instead having to trot out The Ghosts of Power Conference Studs Past in Trey Burke and Kelly Oubre Jr. Now as long their starting five continues to swipe lunch money, Washington is set up to a be yuge headache come playoff time.
And to think that we haven’t even gotten to the team that’s mathematically closest to the Cavaliers yet…