Leadership comes with a range of stressors. If allowed to become distressed, they can affect our performance and physical, mental and emotional health.
BY MICHAEL F. BROOM, Ph.D. | CEO, Center for Human Systems
Stress is our typical reaction to possible threats in our environment. Faced with anticipated danger, stress enables us to fight, flee, or hide if necessary. When the threat ends, the stress dissipates.
Stress becomes distress when the sense of threat does not end or repeats too often.
Stress has two components that will help us understand how to manage it rather than have it control us: 1) a perceived threat and 2) something we value. The greater the perceived threat and the more value we’ve placed on what is being threatened, the higher the stress level.
We typically react to stress automatically. However, as we manage either, we will control our stress instead of being managed by it.
Managing perceived threat
Our perceptions are based on past experiences and lessons learned. They allow us to know what is happening in the present based on the past. We know what is happening in the present because our perception tells us it is similar, if not identical, to something that happened in the past.
Though our perceptions are often accurate, they are still assumptions and interpretations and may be inaccurate. We are often misguided by perceptions that are, in fact, not threatening at all.
Most leaders have felt the stress of a looming important deadline. As a new deadline approaches, we will likely re-experience the stress of the earlier experience. That replay may not accurately reflect the current situation.
Once we understand we are experiencing replay, we can question if the current situation is actually threatening and worthy of stress. Maybe we are better prepared for this deadline. Or perhaps we need our stress response to get done what needs to be done.
Here’s a story of how one leader deals with the demands of his job: A university president asked me to do a stress management workshop for his leadership cabinet. I asked him how he dealt with his stress. He said he goes fishing. I smiled and gave him the “tell me more” look. He said, “I’m constantly bombarded with demands from my board, the faculty, students, alumni, and community. It never ends. There’s no way to get on top of it. I understand that, and I don’t let it bother me. When it gets too much anyway, I go fishing. When I get back, it’s all still there, but I’m in much better shape to deal with it all.”
A key phrase is “I don’t let it bother me.” The president understands our stress response is a choice. The serenity prayer comes to mind: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Rather than wait for God to grant him that serenity and wisdom, our college president gave it to himself. Before his stress becomes distress, he goes fishing.
What might you choose so that your stress doesn’t become distress?
Managing value conflicts
Early in their tenure, many leaders believe they must meet all demands, particularly their own, to be effective leaders. They are setting themselves up for distress.
Anytime we attempt to perform beyond our physical and mental capacities, our stress will turn into distress. Trying to meet all demands all the time is fruitless and will run up against the law of diminishing returns.
Our university president had learned the hard way that his physical and mental was more important than his ego ideal of meeting all demands.
The leader of a small not-for-profit told me about a problem with two employees who not only weren’t performing well and causing issues with other employees. Both were in their first jobs out of college. She was concerned that if she fired them, she would damage their self-confidence.
She continually oscillated between her compassion for the two and wanting to remove the damage they were doing to her organization. These two contrasting values were the source of her distress.
After much discussion, she decided to let the employees go. But she offered them her organization’s employee counseling service. This softened the blow and eased her conscience.
Another story: I was asked to help the new general manager of a major market television station. Over lunch, he complained to me about the stress of his new role. I asked him to tell me what was stressing him so much. He said, “trying to look good” in the face of feeling incompetent in his new role. He was losing weight and losing sleep at night.
The value he placed on “looking good” and hiding his incompetence was causing him great distress. Ironically, it prevented him from looking good as an effective general manager and leader.
Ways to prevent stress from becoming distress
Leadership comes with a range of stressors. If allowed to become distressed, they can affect our performance and physical, mental and emotional health.
The pressure to make critical decisions, the constant scrutiny from subordinates and superiors, and the need to maintain a vision for the future while managing daily operations can be overwhelming.
Being intentional in what we perceive as threatful and what we choose to value can mitigate the impact of these stressors.
When stress has become distress, our choices become automatic, habitual, and often contrary to self-care. Self-care allows us to be deliberate about our choices.
A good night’s sleep, regular short breaks throughout the day, and regular meditation are all valuable self-care tactics. They allow us to breathe, reflect, and plan our next steps without being overwhelmed by the immediate demands of leadership.
Finally, we need support. When events are about to overwhelm us, self-awareness and self-care are rarely in our thoughts. We need friends and colleagues to notice. We need to contract with them to remind us we can still make thoughtful choices and take care of ourselves.
Manage your stress. Don’t let it manage you. Set a good example for your teams. You’ll foster a healthier and more productive work environment.
Michael F. Broom, Ph.D., is an organizational psychologist with 45 years of experience with various people and organizations. He is the author of “The Infinite Organization” and “Power, The Infinite Game” with Donald Klein.
Formerly of Johns Hopkins University, he founded the Center for Human Systems and is a Lifetime Achievement Award honoree of the OD Network.
Contact Dr. Broom for coaching and consulting for your organization at michael@chumans.com. For more information on the Center for Human Systems and to check out its intensive programs and two-hour workshops, visit chumans.com. You’ll be surprised by the difference a single hour can make!
