BY REV. DORAL PULLEY, Today’s Church Tampa Bay
“But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground (John 8:6).”
When my first wife transitioned ten days after our twin daughters were born, I was so angry with God that I had no interest in prayer. I was enraged with God so much that I did not want to talk to God. I gave God the silent treatment. Nevertheless, I had to get this anger out because it started to manifest itself through destructive behaviors, so I went to counseling.
My therapist suggested that I write God letters telling God exactly how I felt. The story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery in John 8:1-11 gave me the courage to do it. Since Jesus, my Wayshower, communicated through writing, I followed his example and utilized this resource as well. Writing opened me up to be completely open and honest with God about what I was thinking and feeling just as I would if I were sending a person a letter or email.
Before this experience with my wife’s transition, I thought prayer held two purposes, to revere God and to seek Divine guidance. I never permitted myself to be honest with God about my emotions. Through letter writing, I felt comfortable to say what I needed to say to God. Although the letters did not express praise and adoration, I felt closer to God than I ever felt before. I embarked on a new relationship with God that was much more intimate than my previous one. After about one year of letter writing, I was free to verbalize my true feelings to God, both verbally and in writing.
Using the Prayer Tool of Writing and Journaling as symbolized by the pencil, write God a letter saying things that you may have never felt comfortable articulating.
Rev. Doral Pulley is the senior pastor of Today’s Church Tampa Bay, 940 5th Ave. S, St. Petersburg (Staybridge Suites) and 5107 North Central Ave., Tampa.